If you are single and you hate it, you probably feel that your life is missing something and you walk around feeling unfulfilled. Many people do not feel happy or successful unless they have a partner or an active dating life. If this sounds like you, instead of focusing on what you don’t have, identify what you do have. Only when you embrace life as it is and make the best of it will change and better things come your way.
Why are you single?
Whether you know it or not you are probably projecting an unsuccessful and unhappy vibe. People generally steer clear of individuals who are continually down or who don’t seem happy in their own skin.
Here are some tips to help you love the life you are living. Once your life starts to transform, then the world around you will transform, too.
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Check the attitude
If you think you will never be happy as a single, the chances are very high that you won’t ever be happy. What you think and meditate on takes root in the emotions. While it may be true that you would prefer to be in a relationship and you may feel lonely or sad from time-to-time, you do have the choice about what you do with those feelings. You can indulge them and give them their place when they arise and then move on, or you can embrace them and fall into the 24/7 blues.
The best thing you can do is give your sad and lonely feelings their due, then give yourself a pep talk and send the negative feelings packing. The best way to do this is to distract yourself with people who are positive, by spending time enjoying a hobby, exercising the emotions away, reading a good book, listening to some upbeat music, or doing something nice and unexpected for someone else. Just as a sad and lonely attitude can take root, so can an optimistic one.
Identify your hang-ups
Many times single people that feel sad and lonely aren’t necessarily in the doldrums because they are single. Sometimes feelings of dissatisfaction, discontent, anger and even low self-esteem are due to emotional hangovers. Give yourself an internal overview. Are you hanging on to resentment or anger from a relationship in your past? Do you presently have an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship with someone in your present — like a friend or family member — that continually erodes away at your self-esteem?
It’s very easy for single people to blame their issues on the fact they are single when the truth is their negative feelings are rooted elsewhere. Get to the root of what is making you feel miserable and you can begin to do the necessary work to get past it.
Keep a blessings journal
A great way to transform your life is to keep a journal or blog where you write down all the good things that happen in your life. Make it a goal to list three or four things each day that you are thankful about or that you feel blessed to have experienced. Be sure to mention the big things in life – such as a promotion at work or meeting a new friend – as well as the small pleasures in life such as seeing a bird on your windowsill, a kind word spoken to you by a neighbor or co-worker, or the delicious ice cream cone you enjoyed.
It may be difficult the first few times you write in your journal or blog, but once you get into the habit of doing it, you will see that journaling about your blessings has a positive effect on your life. In fact, you will begin to see life in a whole new way.
Choose one physical activity
If you are a single person and physical activity isn’t part of your life, make it a part of your life. Choose one physical activity and do it weekly. It can be dancing, walking in a part, riding a bike, hiking, swimming, take yoga or an aerobic class, or anything else that interests you. When you get up and become active not only will it help to keep your body healthy, it will result in a more positive outlook on life. Exercise releases endorphins that serve as mood enhancers and depression fighters.
By following these tips you can start taking control of your life. Once you feel empowered, you will start to feel happy, more content, and successful. When this happens, it’s just a given that people will be attracted to you. Who knows? You may become so successful at being single that you no longer have such a strong desire to find a partner! And life, with its sense of humor, may decide that is the perfect time to send your ideal partner in your direction.
Recommended reading on singledom
For more information and advice on singledom, take a look at the following books: